so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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