the new term for farting is butt boxing.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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