I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
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