I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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