Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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