we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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