Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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