I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
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