508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
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