Joe is yelling at the trees again.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
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then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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