mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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