is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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