the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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