Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
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