Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
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i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
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Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
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