my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
My dick has a subreddit
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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