Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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