I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize