you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize