Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I skipped work to stalk him.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
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