you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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