The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
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Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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