I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
you're hired as official boob wrangler
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