Ambien. No doubt about it.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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