she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Randomize