grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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