i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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