One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize