You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize