I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
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either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
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