Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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