This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
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