Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
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