Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
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I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
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Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
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