Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize