So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
These tits shall not be calmed
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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