There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
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