so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
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I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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