I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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