Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
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