there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize