Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I see more hoeing in ur future
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize