Apparently you make a good broom.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I woke up under a house in Key West
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