I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize