I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
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