I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize