Jerry, you need to find god
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
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