Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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