I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
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The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
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My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
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