3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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