she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
