I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize